Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Experiencing Loving-Kindness
Experiencing loving-kindness means a few different things to me. For some reason, being loving & kind to myself is the hardest. Love is not suppose to be for yourself, it is suppose to be for others and with no expectations in return. So how do I learn to love myself and be kind to myself. For me it is "loving others!" It is what makes me happy and laugh and feel accepted. But on the flip-side if I do not strive for loving-kindness for myself, then I cannot give it back to others. The exercise about meditating on someone kind and breathing in thoughts of that person were energizing and soothing. I did not so much like thinking of an unpleasant thought. For some reason that was harder to take in and get rid of. I need to work on this because it is important for a healthy mind to get rid of the unpleasant thoughts that can consume ones mind. Overall, I think this exercise, will be helpful, because I can practice it anywhere or anytime! Right now, I am sitting on my lanai in Hawaii and breathing in all the subtle trade winds and warmth of the island sun! Life is good! Aloha!
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Hi, I have been working on loving my self too, I find far to often that I am constantly giving of myself that I begin to fell empty. Over the past few months I have been working on myself more and giving myself the attention I need. I noticed it take more time to get my mind in a peaceful state free of chatter since I feel as if I go through my check list in my head as I begin to settle into my practice. Its time to put that list away and realize the importance of being then being too busy. I like the fact that meditation is mobile and if we happen to be at the beach what a perfect place to quiet our minds.
ReplyDeleteChyrsan,
ReplyDeleteYou lucky duck I imagine Hawaii is beautiful. Like you I think showing loving kindness to self is challenging because we are raised with so many notions about love that aren't healthy. We are taught that it is selfish to value yourself more than others and that as women it is our birthright to nurture everyone else except ourselves. We have to fill up our vessels before we can give to others, I have learned this life lesson.
Hi Chrissane, I also had a hard time thinking about suffering, I am used to meditating on postive thoughts. I was very uncomfortable. Like you though, I am starting to see how this will help change the way we think and feel about negative things. We cannot escape them, we might as well come to peace with them. I thnk about those people that said, they have made peace with something. That I think is what we have to strive for. Make peace with ourselves, make peace with the world.
ReplyDeleteChrisanne, I feel the place you are at this moment is a perfect place to listen to the exercise and let is soak in! SO jealous! ;P One thing I found very soothing about the exercise was the sound of the waves and the lightly panflute music. Very serene. I would have to agree with you about the loving yourself or finding loving-kindness within for yourself. I have trouble with that and when we were to love ourselves, I just really could not. It did not feel natural to me. I can sit in front of a mirror picking apart everything I do not like about myself. I know this is not very healthy and trust me I am working on it. I cannot sit here now and say, “I love myself”. However, I too love to show and tell others that I love them. I love to show loving-kindness to other but the flip side is, if I feel they deserve it. My “enemies” have been placed in a bubble at the moment and they will stay there until I feel they are worthy of my loving-kindness, something I am working on. As for the suffering, I focused in on a friend with troubles maybe not true suffering but to some extend I guess they are and I drew in all of my loving-kindness and sent it their way. I hate to think about someone you care about suffering but if I could send them some positive energy then I will think about it!
ReplyDeleteI have learned from your blog post & others that we all are a lot alike in many ways. We lead busy lives so it is only natural to find it hard to really sit down and rest the mind & the body. Nevertheless, after reading this chapter and doing the exercise I know it can be done just a little at a time. I want to wish you luck and take advantage of your surroundings right now! I wish I were there! :)
Hi Chrisanne,
ReplyDeleteYou are in Hawaii, the right setting to cultivate that loving kindness within yourself. Taking long walks or sitting by the water early in the morning when the surrounding is still and quiet and doing some mental workout and exercises. Focusing on the positive that you have in you and the loving kindness that you are extending to others and shift the focus on yourself might help. As you mentioned you have to have loving kindness for yourself to give it to others. Work hard on this because it is important for integral health. Good post, I enjoyed reading it because you were honest.
Well no wonder you are so relaxed with the warm breezes of Hawaii to lift your spirit:) I agree that we need to love ourselves and for some this is almost impossible. I have to say I am in a place of frustration at the moment but that is ok. We all land there sometimes. I am ok with the fact that I am irritable and tired. It is a season. These exercises seem to be able to be so beneficial. I am glad you found the link to finding love within yourself. We know not to load others down with expectations but we forget to give ourselves the same treatment.
ReplyDeleteChrisanne,
ReplyDeleteAloha to you as well! I can imagine Hawaii being a very nice place to relax. Especially on the beach listening to real ocean waves and birds. I lived in Corpus Christi Texas for awhile and I lived a mile from the beach and even though they were not the greatest beaches that I have ever been to, there is something very soothing with hearing the water and the birds. I had a hard time as well with thinking of unpleasant thoughts and then letting them go. This is something that I need to work on is to just let go. I am sure with practice we will be able to do this though. HAve a great week!
Chrisanne,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all I want to say, OMG you are in Hawaii. LOL! Okay back to you blog. I learned a long time ago to love myself first, actually, I learned to love God first then accept his love for me which allowed me to love myself. That love allows me to extend it to others. I know it seems hard but you will get there. THe part where the lady directed you to think about someone who was suffering, my first split second though was "oh no, no unpleasantness". Then I thought about my aunt who has fought cancer off and on for the last 15 years and my desire for her to be healthy and happy. Then it came easy to do that part and not hold on to the suffering but hold on to wanting here to be healthy and happy.
Have a fabulous time relaxing and soaking up the sounds of the ocean. Have a wonderful week!
Hi there Chrisanne:
ReplyDeleteI read your posting about love and how it should be something that is applied to others. I use to think the same thing. However over time and with lots of study, I truly believe that we were created from Love and that we are suppose to be conduits of that love that goes forth into the world around us. I believe that Love is the only true and real thing, because everything else (anger, resentment, greet, criticism, etc) is based on the distorted truth or simply lies that we tell our self in order to maintain or anger, resentment etc. Tell me one person who has experienced anger and not felt justified in their anger? However, we all know that aggression does not cease with more aggression. Therefore, responding to life or situations with negative emotions has never solved anything. It is only through the application of Love have I seen progress, reduced stress happiness and restoration of relationships. The key point here is that if I have no idea what Love is I just might be missing out on feelings of wholeness and connectedness to others.
Shertina